Strength

Today my kind, smart, strong and beautiful baby girl swung by from college. The moment I saw her smiling face I knew something just wasn’t right, but she was surrounded by her littles and they wanted all her attention. Being the caring big sister she gave all her smiles, hugs and kisses to the 3 littles before her dad and I got our hugs. It was awhile before I got her semi-alone for a minute and when I did I asked the dreaded question, how is everything going after your first full week of college? She looked at me, said,”Good”. But I could see, it was far from good.

I just hugged her and let her vent. The start to her college experience hasn’t been the same as her friends, it has been stressful for more than just being a freshman not knowing anyone. She was feeling she didn’t fit in, not her team yet, not her peers. She had grown up in a county in Maryland that is known for its “People Tree”, different cultures, races, heritages all living together. She chose MSU because she loved the softball coach and they wanted her. She never thought for a second that because it was a predominantly African American college she would ever be made to feel uncomfortable because of where she was raised. But what she encountered was racism and that wasn’t something she was prepared for. After a good cry from both of us, we talked about how this experience she is going through and her next four years will be very eye opening. Most kids at MSU will accept her, because they like her see beyond the outer shell. But sadly there will be people that won’t, and sadly that is the reality of our world. We talked about college and it’s about what she makes of it. She is there to play softball and get her degree. She earned her position there and was recruited because they wanted her first. We talked about how strong she is as a woman and as a human. That she continues on her path, being humble and kind. But also to not take any shit, especially ignorance from anyone. That her momma loves her and is so proud of all the choices she has made for herself. That I know she has got this.

As a mom I wish I could just hold her and make all the wrong in the world go away. As a mom I know I have to let her fight her battles and learn from the moments. Its is the scariest thing being a mom sometimes.